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  • Lucy Day

When is a bread roll not a bread roll?

When it’s a Brioche bun topped with 8 different multigrain seeds; I then went on to learn what each of the seeds were.

Later into the meal, I was asked by my lunch date if I could remember what seeds had been used.

Being a red/yellow character, I reminded my fellow brioche eater that I was not the right person to be asking this question to and how I really wanted to save the waiter the effort of going into such detail and just handover the roll. The only thing that I was going to judge them on was whether I thought it tasted good.

However, I didn’t do that, because a) it would have been rude and b) my attitude would have taken the pleasure out of their job.

Sometimes we have to question our default position and consider what impact it may have on the people we’re with. To assume they know what you’re like, or that they understand where you’re coming from is not going to build good relationships - quite the opposite.

The same goes for when you assume someone has 30 minutes to spare to hear every little detail. Stop to think about what information the person you’re talking to needs.

I’m not saying that in the case of the waiter, he should have asked me how much detail I wanted him to go into regarding my food because I realise that when you go into such a restaurant, it’s part of the deal. My choice.

Are there any relationships you could improve by questioning what the person you’re taking to needs from you before you launch into dialogue?

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