Do you tend to overthink a situation and delay decisions until another time because of the potential consequences?
The problem with this is when we next contemplate taking action, there’s a good chance that we’ll put it off again until we feel ‘more ready’. We have firmly placed our finger on the repeat button, because the more we put something off, the harder it gets to take the plunge.
When we’re worried about doing something that pushes us out of our comfort zone, such as having a difficult conversation, making a ‘risky’ decision, or setting and holding new boundaries, we have to dig deep to confront what’s holding us back. I was listening to a podcast the other day, and what was said really struck a chord. He said the more we live in our comfort zone, the smaller our world feels. This is because we become bound by our limits and therefore don’t experience any growth.
Are there any changes you want to make or conversations you want to have, but are yet to? What is it that you holding back from and why?
How would you feel if you hushed your inner doubt and faced your fear?
People think that making bold moves or big decisions is something I find easy, but that’s not quite the case. I try to live by my values (which helps when it comes to making a decision) and I have someone who I can talk my concerns through with, someone who listens and asks the right questions. And thanks to that person, I’ve been able to make some big (and small) decisions, such as giving up a very successful career (but one where I struggled to find a sense of purpose) to start afresh in the third sector; calling out unreasonable behaviour at work, and asking for what I need from colleagues.
I know that both my work and personal life is negatively impacted when I put off decision making or important conversations; I become stressed, disengaged (as I can’t stop ruminating) and ultimately overwhelmed. And therefore, to find satisfaction and contentment in and out of work I need to reframe the thoughts that are holding me back.
📖 If there’s something you want to achieve, but just need to muster up some confidence in to do so, I recommend the following read: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers.
Here’s some advice from her book:
✅ Instead of thinking about what you can lose, think about what can be gained
✅ Talk about your plans – Not only will it create accountability, most people will do what they can to support you.
✅ Ask yourself if what it is you’re considering is in line with your goals?
✅ Trust your impulses, your ‘gut feeling’
✅ Lighten up. Whatever your decision, you’ll handle the outcome. Every decision we make provides an opportunity to learn.
I don’t tend to do anything too radical at this time of year (it's August)
because there’s too much going on: holidays to pack for, kids to entertain and projects to wrap up or put in a healthy state ready for my return. However, come September, I tend to assess how things are going for me and start reflecting on what it is I want to achieve both in and out of work.
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